If you have WIFI, this is the list of your “neighborhood” (people in your area) that have internet with WIFI (the lock is password protected internet)—- basically, anything without a lock next to it, you can “steal” their internet for your (free) use.
Thought this was funny.
This is by SHANE VANDER HART.
Thought it was SUPER DUPER cute…. so….GOTTA SHARE! 
As how a child in Sunday school may hear it. This made me laugh out loud so I had to share it.
In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, ‘The Lord thy God is one, but I think He must be a lot older than that.
Anyway, God said, ‘Give me a light!’ and someone did.
Then God made the world.
He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren’t embarrassed because mirrors hadn’t been invented yet.
Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden.
Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn’t have cars.
Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel.
Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.
One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.
After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.
Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh’s people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable.
God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments. These include: don’t lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor’s stuff.
Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother.
One of Moses’ best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town.
After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn’t sound very wise to me.
After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets.
One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore. There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don’t have to worry about them.
After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of The New. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn too, because my mom is always saying to me, ‘Close the door! Were you born in a barn?’ It would be nice to say, ‘As a matter of fact, I was.’)
During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Democrats.
Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.
Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount.
But the Democrats and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn’t stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.
Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.
Welcome to LIFECHURCH.TV A REALLY awesome experience. While it doesn’t have the same “feel” and community as actually GOING to a physical building— where does it say that you have to? If you’re sick- this is a GREAT alternative than sitting at home watching TV evangelists (unless you like Tammy Faye Baker?)
How great technology is and how we have used it for GOOD! :)
I can’t believe that I’m STILL getting huge hits off my post from JANUARY of this year….I thought the hits would die down after the movie came out– oh wait, I’m getting ahead of myself here— its the post about “He’s Just Not That Into You” quotes….. anyway, I thought that the hits would die down after the movie/etc… nope. Everyday I get more and more hits.
Maybe there is a whole realm of women empowering themselves now and realizing NOT to waste their time on loser guys? I mean, if <you> can make the time for them, why can’t they for you? If that’s the case, then SEE YA! You don’t need to be wasting your time on someone that can’t fit you in.
I’ve gone through my MANY shares of dating horror stories….MANY! It took me years to finally figure it out (dating, that is)…. and I did…..and I found “the one.” People thought (and maybe still do) that “They got married too fast”– well phooey on them! I know what I like and don’t like… Let’s just say this bus has been around the block a few times and can weed out the non-fare players pretty quick. I found a gem hidden in the dirt…..I’ve had to work on him a bit to “polish” him up a bit— but really, I couldn’t be happier.
And yes, you TOO can find this…..if you believe you can.
Wow. This is hilarious. What are the odds of this happening again in a lifetime? =) What is this world coming to when our computers generate pedophile-incest stuff?
It seems like every store now is “Your place for one stop shopping.” There are very few stores that specialize in one thing anymore. Sure there’s “Just Mugs” and “Only Magnets”, but how often do you run out? When you go to one of these “one stop” stores, it’s hard to buy just one thing. You think you’re going in for a blouse and you walk out with a lawn mower, water heater, mini bike, bunk bed, trampoline, swing set, pup tent, jet ski, and a 50 pound economy sized jar of Marshmallow Fluff. “Boy did this save me time.”
They also have every service available. While you’re shopping you can get your hair cut, have your eyes examined, take a family portrait and rotate your tires. The only thing they don’t have is a bathroom that isn’t being mopped. Then there’s the 99 cent stores. You find things there that you never knew could cost only 99 cents. Like 99 cent underwear. You’re kind of thinking, “Why pay more? They’re 100% cotton.” Then you put them on and realize they didn’t go through the cotton gin. Underpants shouldn’t
give you slivers.
Taken from ELLEN
Polite expressions that NOW sound rude:
Thanks a lot
If it’s not too much trouble
May I ask a question?
I’d really appreciate it
Can I help you?
Could you please
I hate to bother you
For your information
That would be great
Sorry
You’re welcome
As a public service, here is our newly updated list of the remaining things that haven’t happened yet:
African-American elected president of United States
Joe DiMaggio’s consecutive-game hit record broken
Peace in Middle East
World oil supply runs out
Bin Laden captured
Saddam is hanged
Starbucks announces cutbacks
Asteroid hits populated city
Major U.S. city ruined by flood
World Trade Center demolished by terrorists
Pete Rose enters baseball Hall of Fame
A famous ex-football player who kills people
Quantum mechanics reconciled with relativity
Britney Spears photographed without underpants
Time travel becomes possible
Global computer network for sharing pornography
Adam Sandler wins Best Actor
Polar ice caps begin melting
Huge tidal wave smashes 11 countries
Australia completely submerged
Secret identity of “Deep Throat” revealed
A prescription drug to induce erections
National ID cards implemented
Sisters genetically bred to play tennis
A “man” becomes pregnant
Electric cars that actually go
Bestselling memoir that inspires millions is mostly made up
Real mummy comes to life, attacks people
A popular Al Gore movie
Ability to turn invisible
Proof of extraterrestrial life
Respected actor wins top government job in California
Phillies win World Series
A national rating system for public drinking water
Cure for cancer
Robots take over
Chinese Democracy album is released
Taken from HERE
RE chat